The Ultimate Groom’s Guide to Buying an Engagement Ring
Confused about where to start? From lab-grown vs natural diamonds to the pros and cons of proposing with the ring, Modern Wedding Editor’s son, Myles, shares his step-by-step journey — and how Moi Moi Fine Jewellery helped him get it just right.
By Myles Haslam
Editor’s Introduction by Victoria Black, Editor-in-Chief, Modern Wedding
When my son Myles began planning his proposal, he came to me — his mum and the founder of Modern Wedding — for advice.
“Mum, I need your help! I have no idea about diamonds, but I want to propose to Jamie with the engagement ring — the whole bending down on one knee ‘will you marry me?’ moment.”
He thought the hardest part would be getting the words out. But as it turns out, choosing the ring can be an even bigger challenge for many grooms-to-be.
From navigating diamond choices to deciding whether to surprise his girlfriend or design the ring together afterwards, Myles quickly discovered that buying an engagement ring is far more complex than it looks — and often a nerve-wracking rite of passage filled with equal parts excitement and anxiety.
After chatting with him (and a few of his friends who were also in proposal mode), I realised just how many men are completely bewildered and overwhelmed by this process.
Should they buy the ring first or propose without one?
How much should they spend?
What if she doesn’t like it?
It’s a minefield — and they simply want to get it right!
In this honest and heartfelt guide, Myles shares his personal journey (and a few stories from his mates), plus the expert advice he received from the team at Moi Moi Fine Jewellery, who helped him turn uncertainty into confidence — and one very special question into a memory that will last a lifetime.
Over to you Myles…
The Proposal Pressure: What No One Tells You
“Getting engaged is one of those once-in-a-lifetime moments everyone promises will be magical — and it absolutely is — but no one warns you how daunting it can feel.”
I’d bought jewellery before — birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas — but this time was different. The little box I was buying didn’t just hold a gift; it had to last a lifetime. The thought of getting it wrong kept me awake more than once.
One of the biggest challenges for men is that, unlike women, we don’t grow up dreaming about our proposal. We don’t have Pinterest boards full of ring styles. Yet suddenly, we’re expected to walk into a jeweller and make one of the most emotional (and expensive) decisions of our lives.
Some of my friends approached it very differently:
- Tom’s Bali Adventure: He proposed on holiday with a simple gold band he found at a market that morning. “We’ll design the real one together,” he told her — and she loved that idea. They created their dream ring months later.
- James’ Waterfall Moment: He spent six months researching the perfect ring, learning everything about cuts and clarity. When he proposed at the top of Niagara Falls, she burst into tears — of joy, thankfully! She loved the ring luckily but he had so much stress beforehand and ruminated over whether he’d made the right choice.
- Me? Somewhere in the Middle: I wanted that classic surprise moment — on bended knee with a sparkling diamond ring — but I also didn’t want to risk getting it completely wrong. That’s when I found Moi Moi, and they had the perfect solution.
The Pros and Cons: To Ring or Not to Ring?
When it comes to proposing, there are two main options: propose with the ring, or buy it together afterwards. Both have their pros and cons.
Proposing With the Ring
✅ That unforgettable “movie moment” surprise.
✅ Timeless and romantic.
❌ Risky if you’re unsure of her taste or ring size.
❌ Pressure to get it perfect without her input.
Buying It Together Afterwards
✅ She gets exactly what she wants.
✅ A lovely shared experience as a newly engaged couple.
❌ Loses some of that surprise magic.
❌ Harder to pull off a spontaneous proposal.
Moi Moi offered the perfect middle ground. I worked with their designers to select a gorgeous ring I knew Jamie would love – from chatting with her closest friends and mum, I knew she wanted white gold and a round diamond solitaire. I also wanted to add a bit of my personality and individuality so I asked the designer if we could have two pink accent diamonds on either side of the central stone. These pink diamonds were set in yellow gold to highlight the colour in the stones. The stunning ring I decided on is what I believed was a timeless design that felt like her- also a little unusual, which I loved! Best of all, I also was reassured that I could easily adjust or redesign it later if she wanted. That flexibility made all the difference. I felt so much more confident knowing she could always adjust it, swap it or redesign it later if she wanted.
IMAGES: Myles’ chosen ring…”Katharine Pink” – the classic trilogy design reinvented, featuring a brilliant cut centre stone delicately complemented by two floating pink lab grown diamonds. The double-prongs and knife-edge band add to the modern elegance of this ring.
As Moi Moi Director Lauren Sommer explained, “We want grooms to feel confident investing in an engagement ring, knowing that if the bride-to-be wants to make a change, she can. Interestingly, after all these years, over 90% of brides love their ring exactly as it is!”
The Groom’s Guide to Buying the Perfect Ring
If you’re about to start your own ring-buying journey, here’s my step-by-step guide to surviving — and actually enjoying — the process.
- Budget Wisely — Forget the “three months’ salary” rule. That idea was invented by De Beers decades ago. Spend what feels right for your life, not someone else’s marketing slogan.
- Lab-Grown vs Natural Diamonds — I chose lab-grown diamonds after learning they’re visually identical to mined ones, but created ethically and sustainably — and at a much better price point.
- Custom or Off-the-Shelf — Moi Moi offers both. Their ready-to-wear designs are stunning and can be personalised, or you can go fully custom.
- Get Help From Her Inner Circle — Her best friend or mum probably already knows exactly what she’s dreaming of. Don’t be afraid to ask.
- Be Sneaky About Sizing — Borrow one of her rings (just make sure it’s from the correct finger!) or enlist help from her family or friends.
- Plan the Proposal Moment — The setting matters less than the sentiment. Whether it’s a beach picnic, your first-date spot, a gorgeous restaurant or your living room, make it special and personalised.
So How Did The Proposal Go?
I invited Jamie to go away for the weekend to the Intercontinental Double Bay. Unbeknown to her, my brother Lloyd and photographer friend, Lisa were waiting behind some trees on the rooftop pool area, overlooking Sydney Harbour. It was a stunning evening and when I fell down on bended knee and popped the question, Lloyd and Lisa also popped out and the moment was captured for posterity (and Instagram!).
Images: Lisa Thompson Photographer
The moment when she saw the ring was absolutely priceless and she was over the moon (as you can see clearly in the photos Lisa took)! We then had a gorgeous dinner and had the best weekend sharing our news with our nearest and dearest.
Why I Chose Moi Moi
I’d heard about Moi Moi’s modern approach and exceptional designs, but what stood out most was their warmth and expertise. They didn’t just sell me a ring — they guided me through one of life’s biggest milestones with patience and care.
They explained everything clearly: how to compare diamonds, the difference between moissanite and lab-grown, and how to care for the ring. When I finally opened that little box and saw Jamie’s face light up with the widest smile, I knew I’d absolutely nailed it. Phew!!!
Final Thoughts: Enjoy the Ride
Buying the engagement ring isn’t just another step before the proposal — it’s a really big part of your journey. Every decision, every moment of uncertainty, and every ounce of excitement leads up to that beautiful instant when she says “yes.”
So don’t rush it. Ask for advice, trust your instincts, and find a jeweller who listens. The team at Moi Moi did that for me — and helped turn what could’ve been overwhelming into one of the most joyful experiences of my life.
Myles’ Top Tips for Grooms
💎 Forget old rules — set a budget that suits your life.
💎 Lab-grown diamonds offer more sparkle, better ethics, and great value.
💎 Focus on the meaning, take the pressure off yourself!
💎 Ask her friends and/or her mum — they really do know everything.
💎 Choose a jeweller you can trust.
💎 Relax — she’s going to love it, and she’s going to love you even more for the effort.
💍 What About Choosing the Wedding Rings?
Once the excitement of the proposal settled, it was time for the next big decision — the wedding rings. Jamie wanted to continue the pink-and-white diamond theme from her engagement ring, so she selected the stunning design pictured below. The combination of soft blush pink diamonds with brilliant white diamonds creates a romantic, feminine look that complements her engagement ring perfectly.
💡 Pro tip: It’s incredibly important to make sure the two rings sit well together. If the bands don’t align properly, the diamonds can rub against each other over time and cause damage. Always seek expert jeweller guidance to ensure the wedding band and engagement ring are a perfect structural and visual match.
Designed to complement her engagement ring, this pink-and-white diamond band adds a touch of colour and timeless romance.
For my ring, I wanted something classic but with a touch of personality. I chose a simple yet stylish men’s wedding band featuring a combination of white and yellow gold. It has just enough contrast to feel unique, while still being timeless and easy to wear every day — exactly what I hoped for.
A modern take on a classic: Myles chose a white-and-yellow gold band with understated sophistication.
✨ Ready to Start Your Forever Story?
Whether you’re planning a surprise proposal or designing your dream ring together, the friendly expert team at Moi Moi Fine Jewellery will help you every step of the way — from first visit to “yes!”
👉 Explore the collection at moimoi.com.au or visit their Sydney or Melbourne boutiques.