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Writing your vows in 3 steps

Modern Wedding Posted: February 12, 2013

Your wedding vows will be the hero of your wedding ceremony, and done right, they will be remembered for a lifetime.

Personalising your wedding vows are a lot of fun and a great reminder of why you are marrying your beloved in the first place. Don’t be daunted by the task! Here are Modern Wedding’s 3 steps to virtuous vows.

Step 1. Find inspiration

Refer to standard wedding vows, then ask your self a series of questions such as:

  • Which element of the vows are important to you?
  • What rings true in your own relationship?
  • What is it missing?

This process can be referred to as creating the ‘shell’ of your vows. Once you have your shell, you can then happily fill it with all you desire.

Step 2. Create a structure

The main problem for most, is that they don’t know where to start.

It’s best to start with the structure that has worked for decades. The basic structure of classic vows (as in above step).
Try to keep your vows to a maximum of 2 minutes, any longer and it will wear thin.

Try looking a great song lyrics for structure – The progression generally starts off small and increases in intensity at the middle, then tapers off to a whimsical end.

All of your important and heart filled information should be revealed when you are half way through your vows.

Step 3. Brainstorm

Ask your self a series of questions to get your brain in the right gear:

  1. Why is my fiance special to me?
  2. When did you realise you were in love with each other?
  3. What is your favourite thing to do together?
  4. What is your favourite memory of him/her?
  5. What does this marriage mean to you and what will it mean for the relationship?
  6. What are your dreams for married life?

Start jotting down sentences on paper. By doing this, you are provoking relative thoughts and suggestions from the brain and soon you will be able to gather enough thoughts and words to form your own vows.

Carry a ‘thought book’. You’ll be surprised by how many useful phrases and thoughts run through your mind while you are in the middle of simple tasks like grocery shopping or filling up petrol! This can be used frequently to jot down all your wonderful ideas.

Remain honest and open. Don’t worry about what you write, just say what’s really on your mind. It’s also important to think about what you want to say, not what you think your friends and family want to hear.

The absolute key to successful vows is integrity and honesty, but don’t be afraid of humour.

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