Navigating the tricky world of bringing a plus one to a wedding can prompt a lot of questions and confusion. To make things a bit more clear, we’ve established the etiquette of bringing a plus one so that you don’t have to go to the bride and groom with any guest-related queries!
You’re Invited…
When it comes to navigating plus one etiquette, the first thing we need to make clear is that if you receive a wedding invitation that doesn’t say “plus one”, you were invited alone. Not every wedding budget can cover each guest bringing a plus one, so don’t RSVP with a guest if the invitation doesn’t specify that you’ve been invited with a plus one! That’s basically telling the bride and groom that they’ll be paying for an extra person at the wedding without even asking them which is not cool.
Lone Wolf…
To elaborate on that point, if you haven’t been offered a plus one, don’t ask to bring one! Going to a wedding alone can be a little daunting but asking the bride and groom if you can bring someone along is essentially asking them to spend money on having another person at their wedding just for you. It’s awkward and can come off as a little rude, so put on a brave face and go on your own!
No Substitutes…
If the bride and groom have specifically invited you and someone else to their wedding by name, that’s not an open invitation to bring along whoever you fancy as a plus one. If they have named your guest but that person can’t come, don’t substitute someone else as your plus one. The couple specified you and your guest by name because they want both of you to attend. If that person can’t come, you’ll need to go on your own!
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Not A Girl’s Night Out…
If you have been given the option to bring a plus one, choose your guest carefully. Generally, a plus one means a date. Be sure not to just bring along your BFF for fun and to score some free drinks from the open bar. If you can’t pick a date and you feel comfortable asking the bride and groom if you can bring your friend instead, then go ahead. But don’t just decide to bring a gal pal along without considering the couple first.
No Show…
When it comes to sending the RSVP, a lot of wedding guests say they’re going to bring a plus one without securing their date first because they assume that they’ll find someone to bring before the day arrives. Avoid doing this because as soon as you say you’re bringing a guest, the bride and groom have to pay for that guest so if you show up alone, you’ve essentially just wasted their money.
The Problem Guest…
A big no-no of plus one etiquette is bringing someone as your guest who is problematic! Don’t bring someone as your date if you know they’re going to cause drama. This includes ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends of anyone in attendance at the wedding or someone who you know the couple doesn’t like. This is a big day for the bride and groom and you don’t want to ruin it by bringing a problematic guest!
Haaaave You Met My Partner…
If you’re in a new relationship and the couple have allowed you to bring your new partner as your plus one, find time during the night to politely introduce your partner to the bride and groom. No one likes paying for a stranger at their wedding so they’ll love getting to put a face to the name of your new bae. At the same time, don’t make the whole night about introducing everyone to your new boyfriend or girlfriend. This day is not about your new relationship, it’s about the bride and groom, and you don’t want to take any attention away from them at their wedding!
Gift Guide…
If you’re bringing a plus one, your wedding gift will need to reflect that it’s coming from two people instead of one. Whether you’re giving a gift from the registry or money for a wishing well, you’ll need to increase your gift budget. That being said, if your date doesn’t know the couple getting married, they may not feel comfortable chipping in! Asking someone to spend money on people they don’t know can be tricky, so consider just pitching in a little extra for the gift to cover your guest.
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Wedding season can be expensive, even for guests! Read our tips on how to budget for wedding season as a guest here.
